


A Worthy Deal

by RensSaxophone



Category: Uta no Prince-sama
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-01-11
Updated: 2021-01-15
Packaged: 2021-03-15 11:56:16
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 2
Words: 13,794
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28688268
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RensSaxophone/pseuds/RensSaxophone
Summary: After a series of unfortunate events, Tokiya makes a deal with a demon in an attempt to be happy.
Relationships: Ichinose Tokiya/Kurosaki Ranmaru
Comments: 2
Kudos: 9





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> WARNINGS ; lots of heaven/hell mentions, demons, violence/blood, mental illness/mental facilities

“Just hold out, Toki.” Ren’s eyebrows are pulled in. He’d like to reach out, to squeeze Tokiya’s arm, but in the situation Tokiya is in… he can’t. Visitors aren’t allowed to touch the patients. 

Ranmaru grunts, but Tokiya knows that Ranmaru knows what Tokiya does. He knows that Ren does, too, but Tokiya isn’t offended that Ren is trying to be positive about the situation. 

It doesn’t mean he’s not going to speak up about it. 

“Nothing is going to happen.” Tokiya’s voice is empty. “I’ve been here for months. They aren’t going to let me out. ...You don’t get forced into a long term facility and expect to just… leave.”

Ranmaru’s silence is his agreement, Tokiya knows, but he isn’t going to say that aloud. 

Tokiya had been forced into a long term mental facility almost five months back after he had suffered through a serious break. Tokiya still wishes that he had been found by anyone _but_ the police, but he lived alone and the neighbors in the apartment next to him had called the police due to a disturbance and the authorities had dropped him _here_. Tokiya’s mental health had never been good, but the longer he’s forced in the facility, the worse it’s getting. And considering that he had been in a terrible state getting here in the first place, that was saying something. 

Tokiya was now considered “mentally unstable”. He was forced to wear an IV at all times because he was considered a risk to himself. It was an easy way to sedate him. And they _had_ sedated him, multiple times before. Tokiya was never a violent person, and Tokiya felt that it was bullshit when they sedated him. Tokiya, Ranmaru and Ren were all in agreement there. 

What didn’t help him, either, was the fact that he was definitely evicted from his apartment, which meant that he no longer had a home to go back to if they released him. It wasn’t an end all, because he knew that Ren or Ranmaru would offer him a place to stay until he could get back to his normal life- but what _was_ an end all was the fact that for as long as Tokiya had been here, four more people had been stationed here and only one person had ever left. There were a total of twenty patients in this establishment. 

Tokiya’s everyday life had just gotten too much for him. He had aspirations getting out of high school, but his attempted idol career had fell flat from nothing but bad luck and poor managers. His next goal was college, to try to get a degree in some form of science, but he had only made it a semester before dropping out because it just wasn’t feasible. He couldn’t both school and work enough to afford a home for himself and his promise to himself that he would return to school after getting back on his feet hadn’t happened either. Tokiya worked as a waiter at a cafe near his home, which wasn’t anything he necessarily _wanted_ to do, but it was a job he had gotten. His break had been bad. It ended in him trashing his apartment and fully breaking down, but he hadn’t gotten any further than that. He still isn’t sure if he would have or not, had he been given the chance, but after being dropped into a long term facility, he had only gotten worse. 

He had gotten hopeless. 

Tokiya only had three friends. He had met one boy in his short run of college, a bright kid named Otoya. He had a love of sports and had gotten a scholarship because of his skill in soccer. Tokiya had actually gone to a few of his games after he had dropped out, though he knew that Otoya was actually studying to be a caretaker. Tokiya knew that his aspiration was to run an orphanage, or to (at the very least) help out at one. Otoya _had_ finished college and he had moved out of town. Tokiya hadn’t spoken to him in some time. Tokiya would have liked to, but he didn’t have Otoya’s number memorized and the phone time was so limited as it was, anyways. If Otoya were closer, Tokiya thinks he would visit. 

But because Otoya _isn’t_ close enough, his only visitors are Ren and Ranmaru. He had met Ren shortly after he had moved into his apartment because Ren worked in a shop directly across from it. Tokiya is thankful now that he had chosen to explore the neighborhood, because that’s the only reason he would have ever entered Ren’s flower shop. Ren was the owner, but he was incredibly hands on- Tokiya had learned quite a long time ago that all of the roses he sold in his shop were grown in Ren’s own garden. Something about Tokiya had gotten Ren’s attention, but it went both ways because when Ren invited Tokiya back, Tokiya returned. Tokiya had started spending quite a lot of free time in Ren’s shop, until they had found time outside of Ren’s work to spend time with each other. Tokiya _was_ very close to Otoya- but Ren was his best friend. It was hard to see Ren now, sometimes, because Tokiya can see the worry in Ren’s expression as Tokiya continues to get worse. 

His last friend, Ranmaru, was a coworker. He was a chef in the restaurant that Tokiya worked at. Tokiya had been interested in him for quite some time before he had ever actually _spoken_ to Ranmaru, but eventually they had both found themselves in the break room with no other coworkers present and Tokiya had finally spoken to him. They didn’t hit it off in the way that Ren and Tokiya had, but after a few months of conversing here and there, they had finally started to develop a friendship. Tokiya’s crush had only grown larger, too, though he had never quite taken that next step… and now he’s here. 

Knowing that it wasn’t going to happen hurt Tokiya. It didn’t help his mental health, either. 

Ren and Ranmaru haven’t met Otoya- truthfully, they hadn’t actually met each other, until they had both chosen to visit him on the same day. 

Ranmaru had been angry. 

_”’S not that I don’t think you need help.” Ranmaru’s admittance is a grumble. “But this is bullshit. Y’need a **therapist** , not a full time psychiatric ward.”_

Ren had seemed sad, but he had tried to stay supportive. Encouraging. 

_”I **don’t** think that you need to be here for as long as they’re keeping you- but right now all you can do is your best. If you really try, Toki, maybe something will give.”_

Tokiya is snapped out of his thoughts at the sound of a bell, which gets a frown on both Ren and Ranmaru’s face, though Ren’s disappears first. 

“I’ll be back next weekend.” Ren promises. Ranmaru grunts in agreement. The visiting days were Saturday and Sunday, which Tokiya felt was a good thing as much as it was bad. He had tried to convince them that they didn’t need to feel the need to visit him every weekend- but they both knew that he hadn’t made any friends on the floor and had both insisted that they didn’t mind. Tokiya thinks that if there were visiting hours every day that they’d probably visit more. He was glad that there weren’t. 

He loved seeing them. It was the only part of the week that he looked forward to- but he felt horrible that they both had to make their way over here. And they often spent (or, in Tokiya’s opinion, _wasted_ ) both Saturday and Sunday visiting him for a few hours. 

“Just hang tight, Toki.” Ranmaru sighs, standing from the table. Ren stands not long after. 

Tokiya stays quiet, trying to keep his expression blank. It hurts, watching them leave, but there isn’t anything they can do about it. Ren offers him a strained smile. 

“Next weekend.” He promises. 

When Tokiya nods, they finally turn to leave. 

_\--------------------------------_

Tokiya was an avid reader. The sole thing that gave him joy when Ren and Ranmaru weren’t visiting him was the bookshelf in the middle of the common room. Tokiya must have read at least half of the books on the shelves already, and in a few more months, he’d probably have all of them finished. 

Despite how many of the books that he’s already read, he’s surprised to find a book on the shelf that he had never seen before. 

It was _strange_ \- it seemed to be an occult book. Something had really drawn Tokiya to it, and he had gotten sucked into the book. 

Tokiya normally doesn’t speak to the other patients, and they usually don’t speak to him- but a man that seems to be at least ten years Tokiya’s senior gets Tokiya’s attention during an afternoon where Tokiya is reading the occult book out in the common room. 

“What language is that?”

“Huh?” Tokiya’s head lifts from the book and his eyebrows furrow. His initial reaction is, of course, Japanese- but when he looks back down at the book, the letters have changed. Tokiya’s next reaction is _’I’m not sure’_ \- but that won’t help him _not_ seem crazy. So, he instead goes with his best guess. “Oh. It’s latin.”

The other patient lets it drop, but he is looking at the book curiously. Tokiya feels a bit unsettled when he glances back at the book but he can understand the words again. 

Maybe he _was_ going crazy. 

_\--------------------------------_

“What’re you plannin’?” Ranmaru was the only one that had come to visit on Saturday. This was a fairly normal schedule. Usually, Ren and Ranmaru only both came to a visit every other week. 

“What do you mean?” Tokiya’s voice is hardly a mumble. 

Was he that obvious?

“You’ve got this look on your face. Like you’re gonna get yourself into trouble.”

“I stole a marker.” 

“...Huh?”

“I took a marker from one of the rooms.” Tokiya’s voice is very hushed now. He wasn’t lying- he really did steal a marker. They weren’t supposed to have them in their rooms, even though they were soft. They weren’t really allowed to have anything in their rooms. Tokiya had never been in a normal inpatient facility, but he knew that this program was far stricter than most non-permanent programs were.

Ranmaru is quiet for a long second, his expression almost incredulous. He’s quickly growing amused, but he’s trying to hide it. “Really? That’s it?”

Tokiya nods, and it gets an eye roll from Ranmaru.

“Guess it’s better than anythin’ else.” Ranmaru grumbles, but Tokiya can see through it. Ranmaru actually is relieved, because he believes that Tokiya isn’t doing anything stupid. 

He’s wrong, but Tokiya isn’t going to be telling him that.

_\--------------------------------_

It’s only later that night when Tokiya decides to pull a risky move. He should have told Ranmaru to reach out to Ren, to let Ren know that he shouldn’t show up tomorrow, because Tokiya wouldn’t be able to visit. 

At best, he’d be sedated. At worst, he may be put in solitary confinement. He’s been in there before, too. It was just as unpleasant as the heavy feelings that sedation gave him. 

It’s nearly two in the morning when Tokiya gets out of his bed, the red marker he had stolen held in his hand. He kneels down near the foot of his bed to begin to draw on the wall. 

His pentagram isn’t exactly like the books, and the marker ends up drying out before he can actually finish it, and for a long second, he stills. He feels his heart fall. 

Tokiya doubted that this would work. He didn’t think he’d actually summon _anything_ , but at this point he was just desperate. Tokiya knew that the circle he drew on the wall would be discovered in the morning, if not even sooner, but a sense of hopelessness settles heavy in his chest. 

When his eyes find the ground, they first catch on the IV in his arm. His heart starts beating too quickly and the hopeless feeling is replaced with desperation. His eyes instead find the ceiling as his hand finds the IV, and with a deep breath- he _yanks_. 

He grits his teeth to try to get through the pain, but his plan worked. The way he had ripped out the IV had certainly drawn blood. It was running down his forearm, down to his fingers. As Tokiya uses his uninjured hand to catch some blood on his fingertips, the rest of it finally starts dripping onto the floor. Tokiya finishes the pentagram. 

Tokiya’s body slumps, his forehead pressing to the floor. He can feel his eyes burn. He’s not _praying_ because praying won’t summon what he wants, but he’s definitely pleading. If there were an incantation in the book, Tokiya didn’t know it. 

Just before Tokiya gives up, he feels an almost searing heat, just behind his shoulder and he turns over quickly, his back pressed to the wall and his eyes too wide. The startled feeling quickly turns to a very terrified excitement when he sees a flame in front of him, burning a bright, sunset orange. It reminded Tokiya of Ren’s hair. 

_Why did you call me?_

The voice doesn’t have a tone. It just sounds like Tokiya’s thoughts. If Tokiya’s mind hadn’t gone blank, he may have even missed it. 

“I…” Tokiya swallows hard, his hands clenching into fists. “I don’t want to be here.” Tokiya’s voice breaks. “I want something else. I want a better hand in life. I want… to be happy.”

There’s silence, after Tokiya speaks. Tokiya knows that he isn’t specific, but he isn’t sure exactly what to say. It’s a feeling. He wants to _feel_ happy but he isn’t sure what would make him happy. All he knows is that he doesn’t want to be here. He doesn’t want to be miserable. 

_You’re willing to give your soul for this wish?_

Tokiya nods. There’s no hesitation in it. 

_Then it will be done. Go to sleep, Tokiya._

The room feels much colder when the flame disappears, but Tokiya stands up on shaky legs. This is where he finally can’t hold back the tears. 

He wonders about Ren. He thinks about Ranmaru. What would happen? What would he wake up to?

Tokiya isn’t sure, but he tells himself that it has to be better than this. He’s sick of being locked up for reasons that he can’t understand. He was _depressed_ , but until just now when he ripped the IV out of his arm, he really hadn’t hurt himself. He really wasn’t planning on it. 

Tokiya wanted to be at work with Ranmaru. He wanted to visit Ren at the flower shop, and to finally get the nerve to ask Ranmaru out. He wanted his life back. 

Clearly, Tokiya was desperate. But for as often as Ren promised that something would give, Tokiya just couldn’t see it happening. Tokiya was incredibly thankful that they continued to visit him, but that couldn’t last forever. Tokiya was afraid that what would really give would be _them_. They can’t keep up visits for the rest of their life, and Tokiya would eventually snap. That wasn’t an _if_ as much as it is a _when_.

Tokiya expects it to be difficult to fall asleep, but it isn’t- at first. There’s a terrible, horrible moment where his entire body is racked with pain so intense that Tokiya can’t do anything that isn’t to focus on it. He feels hands on him, pushing and pulling and prodding. He thinks that he’s lifted at some point, but it’s so hard to tell. 

The last thing that he hears before the pain finally stops is a long, stable _beep_.

_\--------------------------------_

There isn’t any pain when he finally wakes up, though there are several things he notices immediately. 

The first is the bed. It’s much, much softer than the beds at the facility, and that makes Tokiya hopeful, at first. 

The arm around his waist is the second thing he notices. 

The last, and the most alarming, initially, is _Ren_ , crouched down in front of the bed. Tokiya has two reactions, though alarm is the first one that shows. When Tokiya’s body jolts, he hears grumbling behind him as the arm tightens on his waist, pulling him closer. Tokiya feels the man behind him bury his face into Tokiya’s shoulder, his hair tickling Tokiya’s neck. 

No, not _man_ , Tokiya thinks. It’s Ranmaru. He’d recognize Ranmaru’s voice anywhere. 

Tokiya is torn, because he initially wanted to move towards Ren, but he isn’t sure that he can bring himself to pull away from Ranmaru. His eyes are wide- wild. 

Ren smiles at him. 

“Good morning, Toki.” 

Tokiya’s left hand drops, to cover Ranmaru’s on his waist, but he glances down when the ring on his ring finger clinks against a nearly identical ring on Ranmaru’s. Tokiya has so many questions running through his mind, but it’s hard to get his mind and tongue to connect. “Where am I?”

“Your new home.” Ren has an elbow on the bed, and his head is tilted, resting on his hand. “Your deal worked.”

Tokiya is quiet for a long moment, but when Ranmaru doesn’t say anything behind him, he finally jumps to his next conclusion. “...You’re not Ren.” His voice is cautious. 

Ren’s smile is a bit… sad. “I’m not.”

“So Ranmaru isn’t real either.” Tokiya is doing his best to keep his voice steady, though Ranmaru reacts by squeezing Tokiya’s waist. 

“...No. He’s technically not.” Ren’s voice is gentle. “I’m going to lay a lot on you right now, Toki. I’d like you to listen, for now, but I’ll try to answer any questions that I can, after. I really am doing my best to fulfill your deal. There are quite a few factors that go into _making_ deals like this, and I’m afraid that this is the closest I can get. I gave you a house that’s as close to your dream house as I could manage- and Ranmaru may not be _your_ Ranmaru, but he’s… made for you. In a very literal sense. Ren and Ranmaru are a large part of your happiness, and what _you_ feel you need to keep you happy. I’m sure you have set ideas about demons, and I have a feeling that they aren’t quite _right_. ...I’m not the bad guy. I don’t _have_ to be. I plan to visit- I have to, to fulfill my end of the deal, but because I _am_ a demon, I can’t stay here with you. Ranmaru, however-” Ren glances over Tokiya’s shoulder, and then back down to Tokiya’s face. “Is going to stay with you. He’s _nearly_ human. I may not need to condemn you- but Ranmaru is going to be the one to help me judge it. You can avoid hell, Toki, and all you need to do is make sure that Ranmaru _wants_ to help you.”

Ren pauses long enough that Tokiya asks the first question heavy on his mind. His heart is racing with his nerves- but part of him is hopeful. Of course he’d rather _not_ be damned, but he’d never dare to dream that he could get out of it. “If I make him-” Tokiya glances over his shoulder, but there isn’t a reaction to Tokiya’s third person usage of Ranmaru. Tokiya still hasn’t gotten a good look at Ranmaru, and Ranmaru’s been extremely quiet. “...Angry… I’ll be damned?”

“Not exactly.” Ren doesn’t seem too concerned about Tokiya’s interruption- if that’s what it even was. “You _are_ human. And while Ranmaru may not strictly be human, he’s going to act identical to _your_ Ranmaru- I think an argument now and then will be unavoidable. It isn’t a strike system. It isn’t dictated by how you act _sometimes_. If you don’t deserve to be in hell, Ranmaru will see that. You can consider him your protector. If you give him a reason to protect you, then he will. He’ll keep you safe so long as you deserve it. So there’s no need to worry.” Ren’s expression and tone doesn’t change, but as he continues, he starts to feel uneasy. “No matter what kind of person you are, you’ll get some happiness. Our deal is very much in place. But because it’s more than just how you act, or what attitude you have… it’s _you_. It’s who _you_ are. If you’re a good person- good enough that I’d deem you worthy of escaping your fate, then you will. You’ll never have a problem with Ranmaru. If I wouldn’t deem you worthy, then you won’t be making it. That isn’t something that you’re going to be able to control.” Ren, noticing Tokiya’s expression, tries to give a reassuring smile. “I’m trying to help you. ...I have your soul. But I get a lot more from _actually_ taking your soul than I do from keeping your soul here. ...I just… felt your plight. Your deal broke my heart and I want to give you a chance. Not _all_ demons are evil.”

Tokiya stays quiet. There are a few things that he _could_ ask questions about- but he honestly isn’t sure if he’s going to understand anything, even if it’s explained to him. Tokiya finally speaks, just before Ren stands up to leave. 

“What happened to… my... ? Ren and Ranmaru…?” 

“I haven’t done anything to them, if that’s what you’re asking me. I can’t tell you everything just yet- but I’ve made the Ranmaru behind you, and I’m just taking the shape of your Ren.”

“Ranmaru-” Tokiya’s voice breaks, but he tries to clear his throat. It doesn’t work very well. “My Ranmaru doesn’t… he doesn’t like me romantically.”

“This one does.” Ren’s voice remains calm. “The Ranmaru behind you feels exactly the way you wish Ranmaru felt about you. And for your sake- it may be best to start thinking of _your_ Ranmaru as the one behind you.” Ren gives him a smile. Tokiya expects it to be sad, or to see some strain but… there’s nothing. It’s only a smile. “Don’t worry so much about this, Toki. I’m trying to give you what you want- you may as well as take it.” Ren finally stands, though he reaches out when he’s up, squeezing Tokiya’s forearm reassuringly. “If you have any more questions, Ranmaru should be able to answer most of them for you- especially about your new life now. Your job and the like. No matter how things will go, now is your time to relax. You should take it. I’ll be dropping by every now and then, too, so I’ll still be seeing you.” 

“Alright.” 

Ren leaves him with one last smile. 

Tokiya isn’t ready to turn around. Ren had thrown a lot on him, and he’s still trying to figure out his own thoughts. 

Tokiya reminds himself that he wasn’t really allowed to be disappointed. When he had made his deal, he knew that it was risky. He knew that not giving an exact deal on his end could backfire and that this went better than he could have expected. It wasn’t _that_ terrible, he supposed- Ren… or the demon that had taken Ren’s shape had said that this Ranmaru _did_ feel romantically for him and that felt not as bad as it would have been if this Ranmaru were the _real_ Ranmaru. 

And it didn’t sound like he’d ever be seeing the real Ren or Ranmaru again.

Tokiya tries to place what he knows of where he is now, and where he had been, just last night. Last night he had been at the conclusion that being in literal hell couldn’t have been worse than living the rest of his life in the care facility. 

Tokiya truly was miserable there. Having no freedom, being treated so poorly- he was treated like a child. He was alone, and truthfully, he had been afraid. It scared him. He hated needles, the groups didn’t help him and it was clear that he wouldn’t be getting out anytime soon. He was desperate to force something to give… and that’s what happened.

“I’m ready to turn around.” Tokiya’s voice is soft, but Ranmaru’s hand pulls back from his waist- but then he freezes. He hadn’t caught sight of Ranmaru’s face yet- and other than a _grunt_ he hadn’t even heard Ranmaru speak. He’s caught with a wave of fear strong enough that Ranmaru seems to sense it. 

When Ranmaru speaks, his voice is gentle, in the kind of way that Ranmaru very rarely spoke to Tokiya. The last time Tokiya had heard it had been during a visitation period earlier on where Tokiya had cried and Ren wasn’t there to comfort him, leaving the job to Ranmaru. “It’s alright, Toki. C’mon, turn towards me.”

It _was_ Ranmaru’s voice, and that’s what gets Tokiya to finally turn. 

Tokiya had never seen Ranmaru like this outside of his imagination. Ranmaru’s hair was flat and down, shaggy and stopping just over his eyes. Tokiya has to take in his eyes, too, because he had never gotten to see Ranmaru without his pink contact. Ranmaru lets Tokiya take him in, though Ranmaru’s hand finds Tokiya’s hip- until Tokiya feels tears prick his eyes and Ranmaru’s eyebrows lower, his face concerned. His hand lifts, to brush under Tokiya’s eye just as the first, sole tear starts to roll down his cheek. 

“What’s wrong?” Ranmaru murmurs. 

“I just… never thought I’d be here.” Tokiya admits. “I know it’s not a dream- but it… feels like one? My head is telling me that it can’t be real, but it feels like it is. And in a way, I think I know it is, too.”

“It is.” Ranmaru insists. “Maybe not the way that you wanted it to, ‘r thought it would be- but it _is_ real.”

Tokiya pauses for a long moment, his hand covering Ranmaru’s on his cheek. His voice comes out a bit weak but he’s trying to keep it steady. To get himself back under control. “Where am I?” Ranmaru’s expression becomes almost a bit unsure- Ren had answered that question to some extent and Ranmaru wasn’t likely to give Tokiya a different answer, so Tokiya keeps talking. “That’s… not what I mean to ask, I guess.” Tokiya’s voice is a bit hesitant. “But it’s hard to… phrase. Ren said you’d tell me what my life is like now?”

Ranmaru’s expression relaxes when Tokiya changes his question. This is one he can answer. “We’re married.” The easy way Ranmaru says it almost takes Tokiya off guard, but Tokiya had figured that. After all, he can feel Ranmaru’s ring, pressed against his cheek and under his own hand. “‘N you’re a book reviewer. You’ve got your laptop set up in an office downstairs, next ‘t a giant fuckin’ pile ‘a books.” Tokiya _is_ listening to Ranmaru, but his tears are completely gone, distracted by the soft smile on Ranmaru’s face. “‘S far as your job goes, there’s no rush in it. When you wanna read, ‘r you wanna work, you can. If you wanna take weeks off at a time, you can do that, too. We’ve got a cat, too. A ‘lil calico named Iris.”

Tokiya manages a shaky smile. “Domestic.”

Ranmaru chuckles. “‘S pretty chill.” He agrees. “The whole point ‘a this is meant for you to enjoy it. ‘M guessin’ you wanna relax ‘n do what _you_ wanna do, yeah? Not that I’m complainin’. There’s plenty ‘a things ‘t do around the house.”

Tokiya’s smile flickers before it finally fades, his eyes beginning to search Ranmaru’s face. Ranmaru’s expression becomes grimmer as Tokiya’s falls. “If… if… _Ren_... decides that I’m… _not worthy_...”

Tokiya gets cut off when Ranmaru’s hand moves down, his fingertips pressing to Tokiya’s lips. “Don’t do this ‘t yourself, Toki. Look- I know why Ren brought it up, but I don’t want you worryin’ about that.” Ranmaru sighs, his eyes closing. “...I’ll entertain it this once. But I want you ‘t promise me that you won’t keep gettin’ on me about this if I try ‘t clear it up now.” Tokiya nods. “‘M gonna be in this relationship with you from now until you leave. Maybe you’ll leave in a couple ‘a years, ‘r maybe you’re never gonna leave- but I’m watchin’ you, the same way anyone in a relationship would. It’s things about who you are. The reason Ren said it didn’t matter how you acted is because he’s right. You can act as sweet as you wanna, but if you’re rotten inside, I’m gonna know. ‘S hard ‘t hide how you really are when you’re always around me. ...Tell me. Why you’re so nervous about this.”

“I don’t think I’m a very good person.” Tokiya’s voice breaks. “I think I’m selfish, and self-destructive and stubborn. I’m extremely negative and overdramatic-”

Ranmaru sighs, but he leans forward. This time he cuts Tokiya off by pressing his forehead to Tokiya’s. “Toki, when I say rotten, I mean _rotten_. I’m talkin’ racist, ‘r real violent. Homophobic ‘n cruel. I’m not talkin’ about _bad habits_ ‘r things that you should probably work on. I’m talkin’ about the kinda evil that gets you sent ‘t hell anyways. Bein’ a brat sometimes isn’t the same as bein’ a bad person. I think you’re gonna be fine.”

“I… will believe you. And I really hope you’re right.” Tokiya’s voice is a bit quiet, and he may be a little relieved. “But I’m still curious. What… what if I didn’t cut it? What would happen?”

“...We’re in a safe place- but it’s… a sorta safe place surrounded by a place that _isn’t_ safe. Means that we’re gonna run into problems sometimes- ‘n that’s where my judgement comes in. If you don’t meet Ren’s criteria, then I’m not gonna help you, when one ‘a those somethin’s comes in. But that’s not even gonna be a problem for a while yet. We’ve stayed in bed for a while- c’mon. We should get up ‘n go get breakfast.”

“I might need a second.” Tokiya mumbles. He’s trying to take in all of the information- there’s just so much of it. 

“Alright.” Ranmaru relents. “But I’m done talkin’ about this.”

Tokiya nods. When it’s clear that he’s just taking things in but that he’s not getting increasingly upset again, Ranmaru’s arm wraps around Tokiya’s waist again, holding Tokiya to his chest. 

Tokiya takes a long few moments- and then he lets out a deep sigh. He reminds himself that this was the deal he asked for. This is what he wanted. With that thought, he reaches up to squeeze Ranmaru’s arm. 

“Alright. I’m ready for breakfast.”

_\--------------------------------_

Domestic was certainly a word for Tokiya’s new life. 

He and Ranmaru had fallen into a bit of a habit. Ranmaru was a good cook, which was something Tokiya had already known, but he rarely got to eat Ranmaru’s cooking so any chance to have it made Tokiya happy. Ranmaru cooked all three meals for them. Breakfast was usually more of a brunch, however, because Tokiya slept in late. 

Tokiya, before his extended stay at the facility, had never really cared about waking up early, but after being forced to be up at six A.M. sharp every day, especially on nights where nurses would disturb his sleep in the middle of the night, he had started to hate waking up early. For now, he never woke up earlier than ten. 

After breakfast, their activities usually change. Sometimes, Tokiya actually would go off and work, and he’d usually hear Ranmaru playing the bass from further in the living room. Sometimes, on days where Tokiya “worked” he really wasn’t working- though he had actually been caught one time, standing in the hallway to listen to Ranmaru’s music. 

_Tokiya knew that Ranmaru had caught him when he hears Ranmaru chuckle, the music from the instrument in his lap stopping. Ranmaru lays the bass on the couch so that he can stand and head to Tokiya._

_“If you wanna listen, you can just come out ‘ere, y’know.”_

_Tokiya knows that his face is red, but he gives a sheepish smile. Ranmaru doesn’t wait for an answer, choosing to wrap an arm around Tokiya’s shoulders instead, starting to lead him towards the living room._

_“C’mon. Y’may as well as sit in ‘ere ‘n listen, yeah? Gotta be more comfortable than standin’ in the hall.”_

Tokiya doesn’t consider his work to be actual work. He didn’t mind writing, especially not when it came to writing _book reviews_ , and reading the books definitely didn’t feel like work. 

When he wasn’t “working”, they had various other things to do. The house itself was large, and Tokiya’s second favorite room was the theatre room. The furniture was plush and comfortable, the screen was huge, and the room got adequately dark when they wanted it to be, no matter what time of day they used it. Tokiya and Ranmaru often watched both shows and movies in the theatre, and sometimes Ren comes over to watch something with them, sitting on a chair while Ranmaru and Tokiya cuddled up on the couch. Ren, the next time he had come over, had acted entirely normal. Tokiya almost forgets that Ren _isn’t_ Ren. It was easier to forget with Ranmaru, considering Ranmaru was never anybody else. If Ren really _made_ him, he’s only ever been Ranmaru. 

Tokiya _has_ started to consider this Ranmaru _his_ Ranmaru- though there was still the separation between this Ranmaru and the real one.

They had a gym room, as well, and Tokiya had found that it really was _fun_ to exercise with Ranmaru. They sometimes listened to music together, but it was more entertaining to listen to music while _doing_ something, and Tokiya liked having someone with him to both push him and make sure that he wasn’t trying to push himself too far. 

That, and Ranmaru was undeniably hot. 

He was hotter working out, too. 

It may not be the _real_ Ranmaru- but Tokiya’s marriage with this Ranmaru _did_ feel… real. 

They had a pool outside, too- though outside was strange. 

_”If y’wanna go out, I’d rather you go out the backdoor.” Ranmaru was fairly subtle when he had cut Tokiya off the first time that Tokiya had tried to go out the front door._

_Tokiya’s eyebrows furrow. “Why?”_

_“Just trust me, alright? The back’s fine, but I can’t let ya go outta the front.”_

_Tokiya’s very first instinct was to argue. It was strange that Ranmaru was keeping him inside of the house… right?_

_But Tokiya’s relationship with Ranmaru had been going well. Ranmaru was attentive, but not in a way that scared Tokiya, and he was… sweet. He was fairly affectionate with Tokiya, and he was thoughtful and caring. All of the things that Ranmaru **had** shown Tokiya before, but not that often. Not as often as he is now. _

_But Tokiya also can’t help but think about Ranmaru’s discussion with him on the first night. The talk about the ‘somethings’ that could come in. The wonder if Ranmaru would or wouldn’t protect him- Tokiya had never asked. He couldn’t. He had promised Ranmaru that he wouldn’t bring it up again and he desperately wanted Ranmaru to… want him. He wanted to meet Ren’s criteria. He wanted to keep this._

_So if going out the front door wasn’t allowed… Tokiya wasn’t going to fight Ranmaru on it. He wasn’t going to ask. Not now._

_“Okay. ...I’ll go out the back.””_

_Ranmaru’s shoulders slump, seemingly relieved that Tokiya isn’t going to fight with him. His hand lifts to cradle Tokiya’s face and he presses a kiss to Tokiya’s forehead. “Good.”_

That day _had_ felt worth it, at least, because Tokiya didn’t often swim- but it was fun. Tokiya had really taken to the pool, both swimming in it and relaxing by the edge of it, or on a raft. It was pleasantly warm outside, seemingly at all times, and the backyard was beautiful and large, and Iris seemed to have fun walking along the perimeters, chittering at bugs that Tokiya couldn’t see. 

Ren had joined them in the pool a few times, too. 

Ren and Ranmaru had started to get along when they had started having vistitations together, but Tokiya liked seeing them get along the way they did here. They didn’t seem like _best friends_ \- but they were friendly. Ren teased both Tokiya and Ranmaru relentlessly, and it was always fun to see Ranmaru give Ren shit in return. 

Another activity that Tokiya had found them doing often was playing games. Tokiya had never been a very big fan of video games, but they had a large shelf of card and board games. It was more rare for Tokiya and Ranmaru to play alone, but when Ren came to visit, they often played. 

Tokiya was worried that it would get repetitive, but it never seemed to get boring. Years pass- but even without being able to leave the house, Tokiya finds that it isn’t horrible. 

Tokiya has days, sometimes, where he can’t get out of bed. Where the depression returns and he doesn’t want to do anything in his repetitive schedule. Rather than forcing him to do something, Ranmaru spends those days being patient with Tokiya- helping in ways such as giving him breakfast in bed, or just laying down with him, letting silence fall in the bedroom. 

Tokiya finds himself to be grateful when the days pass and he begins to feel better again. 

_”This was worth it.” Tokiya murmurs. “No matter what. Because even if this doesn’t last… I was never leaving the facility I was stuck in. They had a million and one reasons to just keep me there and nothing I was ever going to do would get them to release me. At least I have this. Even if I won’t always… I like it. I’d take a few days of not feeling well if it means that I can have days of being happy. ...It had been so long.”_

_Ranmaru had stayed quiet, only running his hand over Tokiya’s back._

_\--------------------------------_

Ranmaru wasn’t always following him around the house, either. While Tokiya did prefer to spend most of his time with Ranmaru, he appreciated moments of alone time, too. 

For the most part. Unfortunately, there was always an exception. 

Ranmaru had been right- Tokiya had gotten a few years before one of the ‘somethings’ had made its way into their house. Tokiya hadn’t been particularly close to the door, but Ranmaru was on the second floor of their two-story home and Tokiya was on the first floor, in the living room. When the door had opened, Tokiya’s curiosity had won over. He hadn’t even approached the door, but when he had gotten within sight of it, the creature that had entered had caught sight of _him_. 

It was almost human like. It’s form was almost identical to that of a human, but the soulless gaze in its eyes, the sharp teeth showing through in its wide grin and the speed that it moves at Tokiya would suggest that it was anything but. 

It’s on Tokiya before Tokiya can even comprehend it. 

Tokiya isn’t sure what he’s expecting. If he’s going to ripped apart, or hit, or how he’s going to be hurt. And he _is_ hurt but not in the physical way that he’s expecting. 

When the creature’s hand shoves its way into his stomach, Tokiya expects there to be blood. He expects for the creature to start pulling out his insides, because that’s what it _feels_ like- but when he looks down, there isn’t an entrance wound. 

Tokiya can think through the pain. He remembers this same kind of pain on the night before he had arrived here, to the house. He realizes that Ranmaru isn’t here. 

Had he not met Ren’s qualifications?

Was this it for real this time?

Tokiya closes his eyes. He hates to just accept this- but what could he do? If he hadn’t proved himself to Ren… if he hadn’t proved himself to Ranmaru, then this was what his fate was. 

Tokiya’s shocked when the creature is ripped off of him. His insides still ache, but no worse than they had when the ‘man’ had his hand inside of Tokiya’s stomach. When Tokiya can finally open his eyes again, Ranmaru has the creature by the back of the shirt- but Ranmaru clearly has the upper hand between the two. 

Tokiya isn’t sure what Ranmaru is going to do with the creature. Send it back outside, perhaps? 

Tokiya glances at the still open door when he thinks about that, and there are two things he notices. The first is the absolutely desolate landscape outside of the door. He can’t see anything, but he can feel the stifling heat, even from as far inside as he is. It’s clearly nothing like the backyard. It’s somewhere Tokiya has no desire to be. In fact, he feels like he wants to back away from the door, even as far away from the landscape as he is. The second is the sign. 

**”Off limits”**

By the time that Tokiya looks back at Ranmaru, the creature is knocked unconscious. Ranmaru has taken the cord from the TV in the living room to bind the creature’s hands together so tightly that Tokiya is surprised that the cord doesn’t snap. Ranmaru only takes a second, going to Tokiya long enough to silently get him to sit down on the couch. As soon as Tokiya is slumped into the cushion, Ranmaru is heading to the door to close it. The house immediately feels better as soon as the door is closed. 

Tokiya feels tired. It hurts to curl in on himself, but he does. He might even lay down, but that would put him too close to the creature, still unconscious on the floor near the middle of the couch. 

Ranmaru opens his mouth, to ask Tokiya something, or to tell him something, and the front door slams open. Tokiya starts, pressing himself back into the couch as Ren storms inside, and he thinks he can feel himself shaking when Ren heads towards him. 

And then Ren passes him, heading towards the creature on the floor. Ranmaru’s knee lands on the couch, turning Tokiya’s head towards Ranmaru. 

“‘S fine, Toki.” Ranmaru’s voice is a mumble. “He’s not ‘ere for you.”

Tokiya can’t watch Ren sling the creature over his shoulder, but he sees the aftermath when Ren crosses through Tokiya’s line of sight to bring the creature back outside, closing the door behind him. 

“Can you walk?” Ranmaru seems calm, which is almost alarming compared to how angry Ren was. Tokiya has to hold onto Ranmaru’s arm to try, but he’s trembling. Between his shaking and his pain, he nearly falls over until Ranmaru picks him up in a bridal style carry. 

“I have a lot of questions.” Tokiya’s words sound coherent but it’s very clear how upset Tokiya is from his voice alone.

“‘M sorry, Toki. I’ve gotta wait for Ren ‘fore I can answer most ‘a ‘em.” 

“I have one I really want to ask _you_.” Tokiya’s voice trembles. He thinks he’s afraid to hear this answer. Ranmaru seems wary, but he waits for Tokiya’s question. “...Was it a hard decision? Stepping in? ...Did I cut it close?”

Ranmaru’s face is really closed off now, and his scowl is heavy. “You’re wrong, Tokiya. ‘M sorry I wasn’t down there sooner, but if you were even close ‘t me not steppin’ in, I don’t think I would’a. He wouldn’t ‘a touched ya, if I had been closer. That’s all it was.”

“What did he do to me?” Tokiya’s hand moves over his stomach. “It hurts here but there’s nothing.” Tokiya pulls back his hand, but it’s clean. There’s no blood. There’s no injury. But it hurts like there is.

“He tried ‘t take your soul. He’s a demon. Sorta like Ren but a lot fuckin’ worse.”

Tokiya wants to keep questioning him, but he knows that Ranmaru wants to wait for Ren, and while Tokiya still isn’t sure exactly why, he isn’t going to push him right now to answer. “When will Ren be back?”

“It’s gonna be a minute.” Ranmaru’s voice drops. Honestly- it’s scary. “He’s takin’ care ‘a the guy that broke in. But your questions’ll be the same in the mornin’. If you wanna start feelin’ better, you need ‘t get some rest.”

“Did… did he _take_ my soul? Is that why I’m feeling so unwell?”

“He didn’t. If he had, you wouldn’t be ‘ere right now. You’d be out there.”

“Wouldn’t that hurt Ren? ...He wouldn’t have had my soul then, right?”

“He’d still get credit. Your soul’s his, ‘s long as you’re down ‘ere. But most ‘a the demons get a sick sense ‘a pride from takin’ a soul, whether they get credit ‘r not. Problem is that even Ren likes ya, if your soul gets taken, there’s nothin’ he can do. You’d be gone. Now be quiet ‘n rest.”

Ranmaru finally sets Tokiya down on the bed and Tokiya lets him. Ranmaru does tuck him in, but he gets in the bed next to him, too, holding him tightly. Tokiya turns, burying his head into Ranmaru’s shoulder, and Ranmaru’s hand finds the back of Tokiya’s head, cradling it. The only good thing about the pain is that it doesn’t hurt worse, pressing himself to Ranmaru. 

Tokiya sleeps for a very long time, and the pain isn’t completely gone when he’s awake, but it’s better. He notices that Ren is in the room, similar to the first time Tokiya had met this Ren, though this time Ren was in a chair he had brought from the kitchen. It’s clear that he’s expecting a harder conversation. Or at least a lengthy one. Tokiya thinks that this conversation may only be hard for him. 

Ren only looks at Tokiya, when Tokiya awakens. He leaves it up to Tokiya to start the conversation. 

“What’s going on, Ren?”

Ren sighs. “Do you really want to know the entire story, Toki?”

“I do.”

“Then I’ll talk, and you can ask any questions you have after.” Ren crosses his legs, leaning back into the chair. “I’ll start from the deal. What happens when you make one. You’re _dead_ , Tokiya. That’s the first step to making a deal. Because when you make a deal with a demon, demons can’t actually affect anything in your world. We can’t make things happen. The reason that you can’t leave this house, Toki, is because outside of it is hell. You’re inside of a room- it’s… hard to describe. There’s a rumor down here that in Heaven, the humans that get there get a room that they stay in, and it’s their perfect dreamscape. Whatever they want comes true in that room. So, that’s what we struggled to create here. I told you that not all demons are evil, and it’s true. Half of hell is filled with poor souls that got stuck down here, despite not really deserving to be here. People like you. But most deal demons, like me, aren’t down here for some terrible deed that we’ve done in our life. So we _want_ our deals to be fulfilled on both ends. So we put you in these rooms and we give you what you asked for. And sometimes, we just keep you in here. Because you’re not perfect, Toki, but I don’t think that you deserve to be in hell. I’d much rather keep you in a room that mimics Heaven. This is as close as I can give you to what your Heaven would be. As close as we can get to it in Hell. That’s who that person was, that came in last night. A lower demon. One that came to Hell because they deserve to be there. Normally, they can’t _see_ these rooms- because of course they’d want to sneak in here. In here is far more pleasant than out there. I fully plan to keep you in here, Toki, but you and Ranmaru are going to have to discuss a way to do that.”

“I’ve figured it out.” Ranmaru says gruffly. “‘N I’ll tell ‘im about it when you’re off.”

“Good.” Ren nods. His eyes finally flicker back to Tokiya. “Do you have any questions?”

Tokiya is in a very similar position to the first night. He’s still laying down on his bed, and Ranmaru is behind him, his arm wrapped around Tokiya’s waist. 

Tokiya does have one big feeling of dread growing in him- but he doesn’t want to talk to Ren about it. He wants to talk to Ranmaru, but he’s going to wait until he and Ranmaru are alone. 

“I’m… sorry. Ran. To speak of you like you aren’t here, but…” Tokiya glances down, when speaking to Ranmaru, but then back up to Ren. “What _is_ Ranmaru, Ren?”

“He’s not part of this room, if that’s what you’re asking me. I’ve found that making people with the room is… hard. Especially for people like Ranmaru. Because they become so… two-dimensional. They’ll do anything to keep you happy- but that won’t work here. Because if you or he walk out of the front door, you won’t be coming back in. I needed him to be capable of setting his foot down, and, of course, you wouldn’t be happy if Ranmaru were a yes-man, because that’s not the Ranmaru you knew or wanted. So Ranmaru has a piece of me in him. Just enough to keep him as resemblant of Ranmaru as I could make him. ...Enough that I can know what’s going on here, too. I can’t control him- but he can still contact me. He can give me information that I need to have. It’s how I was here so quickly yesterday. It’s how I know when your routine is starting to get _too_ routine and you want _me_ to come visit.”

“Is… is this it? You’re going to let me stay here?” 

Tokiya’s voice comes out too soft. 

“I am.” Ren assures. “I told you that Ranmaru would be the judge of it- and yesterday was the answer. He hasn’t found anything about you that shows that you don’t deserve to be here- so he’s going to continue to protect you. I’ll continue to visit, when you need me. Your only real responsibility is to listen to Ranmaru and to stay in this house- and as long as you do, you’ll be safe.” It’s a promise. Ren smiles at Tokiya as he stands up from the chair. “But I’ll leave you two alone for now. Rest up, Toki. You’ll start feeling better soon.”

Tokiya watches Ren walk out. Ranmaru’s hand runs over Tokiya’s stomach, but his grip loosens when Tokiya turns. Ranmaru takes one look at Tokiya’s face, but his voice gentles when he takes in Tokiya’s expression. 

“I can tell you’ve got somethin’ you wanna talk about - but safety comes first, ‘n then we’ll talk, alright?” Tokiya nods. Ranmaru’s hand settles back on Tokiya’s hip. “I’m gonna move your office upstairs. I’m not gonna stop your alone time when y’need it- but I wanna be closer ‘t the door at all times. So if you wanna be upstairs alone, it’s fine, but if you’re downstairs, I need ‘t be there, too, alright?” Tokiya nods. He isn’t going to fight Ranmaru on this, because Ranmaru had made it _very_ clear that _he_ could handle the intruders. Tokiya knew that he wasn’t capable of doing it himself- and he wanted to stay. He didn’t want to be damned. And because Ren didn’t want him to be either… “Now. What’s that look for? What’s bothering you?”

That’s what nearly starts Tokiya’s tears, and Tokiya leans forward to bury his face in Ranmaru’s chest. “I just realized that I’m dead.” Tokiya’s voice breaks. “I just realized how much I must have hurt Ren and Ranmaru. I didn’t even wait to give Ren a real goodbye.” Tokiya starts sobbing at this point. “It hurts. I wish I could have given them a real goodbye. I didn’t… I didn’t realize I’d leave them like that. ...I don’t regret anything else- but I regret that. I haven’t talked to Otoya in so long, either… I… I didn’t want to hurt anyone.”

Ranmaru’s arms are tight around Tokiya. Tokiya feels Ranmaru’s chin on the top of Tokiya’s head. “This isn’t gonna make it much better, Toki- but they knew how miserable you were. ‘N when they tell themselves, ‘r someone tells them that you’re in a better place, at least that’s gonna be true. It’s gonna be rough for them, but you’ve told me how you felt. ‘M sorry that you didn’t get a real goodbye with ‘em, but I can’t say that I think you made the wrong choice.”

Tokiya is crying too hard to respond. Ranmaru stays quiet while Tokiya cries himself out, just rubbing Tokiya’s back comfortingly. 

“Is it wrong of me to want to distract myself?”

“Of course not.” Ranmaru squeezes Tokiya. “We can go watch a movie ‘r play a game ‘r somethin’. ...But the last thing that I wanna say, Toki, is that I hope y’know it wasn’t your fault. There’s no way that you knew ‘bout the dyin’ for a deal thing, because I don’t think that’s a well known thing. But y’know that there’s somethin’ after death now. ‘N from what I know about both ‘a them- they’re gonna be fine. They’re gonna be happy. So I hope that you don’t let this stop you from bein’ as happy as you can be right now, babe.”

“I know.” Tokiya’s voice breaks. “And I know that they’ll end up somewhere good.” Tokiya’s arms loop around Ranmaru’s neck. “Thank you, Ran.”

“‘Course.” Ranmaru presses a few short kisses to the side of Tokiya’s face, which gets a shaky smile out of Tokiya- and then a startled laugh when Ranmaru manages to both get himself out of the bed _and_ pick up Tokiya. “Now-” Ranmaru’s smile is teasing. He very rarely ever styled his hair, and while he every once in a while wore a contact, he usually didn’t. Right now, his hair was shaggy and down, and his eyes were both a silvery grey. “Why don’t we go watch one ‘a your detective movies? Maybe one you _don’t_ figure out five minutes into the movie?”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I had more ideas, and a million different places this was going to go- but then it went pretty linear as I was writing it, haha  
> So I don't really think the first chapter *needed* this, but it's just a bit of extra, I suppose
> 
> Really, it's mostly just angsty

It was hard to tell just how much time was passing while Tokiya was in the house- but it didn’t feel like very long. 

His depressive moments never did completely go away, but the moments were fleeting compared to all of the other days that Tokiya got with Ranmaru where he felt happy. If he thought too long about everything Ren had thrown on him during their last heavy conversation, he does start getting upset, but Ranmaru is very quick to get his attention focused elsewhere.

Ren continues visiting. His visits are very similar to how they were after Tokiya had arrived- he acts almost as if the difficult discussion had never happened. Tokiya appreciates it. He isn’t sure if ignoring his problems is really the right way to solve them, but it _is_ what he’d prefer to do. 

The longer he’s in the room, the more often Tokiya does start feeling _bored_. There was only so much to do in a single house, but he had no intention of leaving it. He’d much rather be bored than to be suffering in hell. 

Ranmaru did what he could, but there really was only so much he could do when he had the same limitations as Tokiya. 

The door rarely opened. Every once in a while a demon would make their way into Tokiya and Ranmaru’s home, but Ranmaru always took care of them quickly. By the time Tokiya gets close enough to the stairs to see what was happening, Ren usually had already arrived to drag them out and the door had already been closed. 

It didn’t stop Tokiya from going to the top of the staircase, trying to stay out of sight but to also try to catch whatever was going on. 

He _normally_ wasn’t fast enough to catch what happened- but today had been _very_ different.

When Tokiya gets to the top of the stairs, he sees _two_ Ranmarus, one on the floor and the other standing over the other. They both look livid- angrier than Tokiya may have ever seen before. He recognizes the Ranmaru on the floor as _his_ Ranmaru. Both men looked identical, but Tokiya could tell them apart solely by the clothes that they were wearing- and, of course, his Ranmaru had his hair flat and his contact out.

Tokiya’s Ranmaru had blood trailing from his nose, and Tokiya thinks that his lip is split. Tokiya wants to freeze, but Ranmaru’s injuries get Tokiya hesitantly moving towards the bottom of the stairs. 

He was _scared_ and he was _confused_.

Tokiya’s approach gets the attention of his Ranmaru- Ranmaru’s head snaps up, something akin to panic in his eyes before they narrow. When the Ranmaru standing over him turns his head, too, Tokiya’s Ranmaru speaks. “Go back upstairs, Toki.” Ranmaru’s voice is almost pleading. 

“Wait.” The Ranmaru that’s still on his feet moves forward. Tokiya is low enough on the stairs that Ranmaru can catch his wrist, and for a second, Tokiya is terrified. He’s waiting for the pain. He’s waiting for whoever this really was to take his soul. But he doesn’t. There’s a wild look in this Ranmaru’s eyes, but his grip on Tokiya’s wrist isn’t _painful_. Tokiya wouldn’t call it _gentle_ \- but Tokiya is beginning to believe that this Ranmaru _isn’t_ trying to hurt him. 

“Ranmaru…?” Tokiya’s voice is shaking. His Ranmaru is beginning to get up off the ground, but he’s unsteady and Tokiya’s eyes switch over to him, worried about how hard he had been hit. 

“I wanna get you outta here.” Tokiya’s eyes flicker back to the Ranmaru in front of him when he speaks. “I’m tryin’ to help you. I just wanna get you somewhere safe.”

“You’re safe _here_.” Tokiya’s Ranmaru is trying to make his way closer, but the other Ranmaru is between them, forcibly keeping distance. “He’s trickin’ you.”

The Ranmaru in front of Tokiya scowls. “We’ll talk about this, Tokiya, but not now.” Tokiya’s eyes widen when the Ranmaru in front of him releases his wrist but then knocks him over, pulling him forward, up and over his shoulder. His Ranmaru tries to move forward, trying to help Tokiya- but he’s injured and the other Ranmaru is too fast. Tokiya does begin squirming, starting to panic when he’s brought outside. 

“Don’t do this, please don’t do this, Ranmaru.” Tokiya is too panicked and too afraid to cry. He feels as if he’s on the edge of a panic attack. 

“I’m takin’ you somewhere that’s _actually_ safe.” Ranmaru’s voice is stern. “Stay calm- you’re a lot safer on my shoulder than you’re gonna be if you fall down.”

“Why are you doing this? Who are you?”

“Who am I?” He almost sounds hurt. “You know who I am, Tokiya. But we can actually talk when we’re outta here, alright? I’ve gotta focus on makin’ sure we _get_ out.”

Tokiya is quiet, but he doesn’t feel well. He feels sick. He feels scared, and he’s worried. He wants to go back to _his_ Ranmaru- he was hurt. Tokiya didn’t get to see the full extent, but he knew how strong his Ranmaru was. To see him lose a fight against this Ranmaru was terrifying. 

“Close your eyes.”

Tokiya isn’t sure if he wants to- but he does. Less than a moment later, Tokiya feels a blinding light shining on his face, bright even through his closed eyes. It only lasts for a few moments, but Tokiya doesn’t open his eyes. Tokiya doesn’t open his eyes until he’s set down. 

He only takes in the hotel room for a few seconds- because his eyes land on _Ren_. 

The Ranmaru in front of him looks exactly the way Tokiya remembers Ranmaru. His hair was fluffed up and styled, and one of his eyes were pink- although his eye almost seems to be _glowing_ , now. He’s dressed in heavy clothing, from his jacket to his boots. 

Ren, however, has a _major_ difference. For the most part, he’s as Tokiya remembers, with his long, sunset hair, tanned skin and sparkling blue eyes. His clothes are bright- not quite _white_ but certainly not dark. What was really attention catching, however, were the large, white, fluffy _wings_ , almost as large as his entire body, even folded in.

Ren smiles at Tokiya, but it’s strained. It’s sad. It’s clear that this Ren isn’t the demon Ren- as if the angel wings weren’t a clear enough difference. 

“What’s going on?” Tokiya’s voice breaks, but he’s glancing between Ranmaru and Ren with an almost wild expression. 

“You were in _hell_ , Tokiya. Ren ‘n I ‘ve been workin’ on gettin’ you out. …’M sorry it took us so long.”

“...What? I… don’t understand. How? How did you even know?”

“You’ve been dead for about…” Ranmaru glances to Ren. 

When Ren speaks, his voice is grim. “Eighty years? Give or take.”

Tokiya’s mouth feels dry. “...Eighty?”

Ranmaru is frowning, but he nods. “...Think I died about thirty-ish years ago. ‘N I think Ren was about twenty-five?” Ranmaru glances to Ren, but Ren nods. “I went ‘t hell ‘n Ren went to heaven.” Ranmaru speaks again when he sees the fear growing in Tokiya’s eyes, starting from when Ranmaru had said that he had been sent to hell. “It’s not the way you’re thinkin’. I wasn’t really good enough to get into heaven, but I wasn’t really bad enough to deserve to go to hell. Means I’m a deal demon.”

Tokiya’s unspoken question is answered by Ren, when Tokiya looks at him. “Most angels are temporary. You have to prove your worth.” Ren rubs at the back of his neck and gives Tokiya a sheepish smile. “Though my temporary situation may be longer. Most angels tend to avoid demons.” Ren glances back at Ranmaru.

“Why…” Something about the look had hit Tokiya in a way that he wouldn’t have expected between the two of them. “...Why _are_ you both working together?”

Ranmaru and Ren’s eyes meet, and Tokiya can tell that they’re discussing something between themselves silently. Tokiya’s slowly beginning to assume what it may be by the time that their focus returns to Tokiya. 

It’s Ren that speaks, quietly. His voice is gentle. Careful. “Ran and I had worked together, after your… death, Toki. We did end up exposing them- they weren’t meant to keep patients for as long as they did. Especially not patients like _you_ \- they were faking medical reports to keep patients to continue getting money. We ended up shutting them down.” Ren’s eyebrows furrow. “But Ran and I… became close. We were involved.”

“We were married.” Ranmaru says grimly. “‘M sorry, Toki. ...I _do_ love you, ‘s just… not in the way that you want me to.”

“Why are you sorry?” Despite his words, Tokiya can’t keep his voice steady. Ranmaru’s eyes glance down to Tokiya’s left hand, and when Tokiya pulls it closer to his chest, his fingers brush over his ring. “I never told either of you.” Tokiya says softly. “There wasn’t a way for you to know. How can I be upset?” Tokiya sits down on the bed, subtly trying to hide his left hand behind his right. He wanted to lay down. More accurately- he wanted to be in _his_ bed, with Ran. With the one that _did_ like him. Tokiya _didn’t_ have a problem with them together, from the standpoint of wanting them both happy. But he _had_ been happy. So as bad as it made him feel, he just wished he wasn’t here. Knowing they were happy was enough, but he wanted to go back to _his_ happiness. Even if it weren’t real. Even if _his_ Ren and Ranmaru weren’t _really_ Ren and Ranmaru.“So what happens now?”

“You’re not quite human.” Ren starts quietly. “And you’re not… alive. You’re… as close as I think you can get to a ghost. But…” Ren’s eyebrows furrow, and he glances between Ranmaru and Tokiya. “You don’t seem very excited about being out of hell.”

“I wasn’t in it, really.” Tokiya’s right hand tightens on his left. He’s not quite looking at them. “...I don’t blame either of you for thinking that you saved me, but you didn’t. I was happy.”

Ranmaru sighs. “You’re tellin’ yourself that, but were you really, Toki? I know how those rooms work. They’re not like the heaven rooms. You can’t _really_ be happy there. You’re not _safe_.”

“You don’t know that.” Tokiya’s argument is weak. “I _was_ happy. It wasn’t perfect- but I _was_ safe.” Tokiya’s expression turns pained when he thinks of _his_ Ranmaru. He was hurt and Tokiya wasn’t able to check on him. “I wasn’t attacked often, but I had been attacked. ...I sold my soul. I was living very well for asking for it myself.”

“Ren could get you into a _real_ heaven room, Toki. Into a place where you’d really be safe.”

Tokiya shakes his head, no. “If you’re going to put me anywhere, I want to go back.”

There’s a few seconds of silence, and admittedly, Ren’s is a bit stunned. Ren is the one that speaks. “Why?”

“I won’t say that this is right.” Tokiya’s voice starts out weak. “But in an attempt to placate me, the demon that had made a deal with me had… recreated the both of you. I’d like to believe I have some sort of distinction in my head but… I don’t want to leave them.” Tokiya wasn’t _entirely_ honest- while he did like the demon’s portrayal of Ren, he isn’t sure that _Ren_ is why Tokiya wants to go back. But he really _didn’t_ want to leave Ranmaru. Tokiya takes in a deep, steadying breath, and he stands back up. “I’m sorry to both of you. I’m sorry that I left you both- I’m sorry that I went so far without telling either of you that I was going to. More than anything I’m sorry that I never had the chance to give either of you a proper goodbye. ...I want to take the chance to do this now.” Tokiya’s eyebrows furrow. “...I want to go back. I’m sorry to leave you again, but despite our… reunion… I’m glad that I got to see the both of you again, and I mean that with all of my heart. I appreciate that you’re worried for me, and I appreciate the lengths you both went through to try to help me. I’m glad that the both of you seem to be doing as well as you can be, and I’m glad that you were able to find each other. ...I care for the both of you and all I want is for you both to be happy. You don’t need to worry about me. ...Goodbye, Ren. Ranmaru.”

“I still don’t wanna let you go back.” There’s a pained expression on Ranmaru’s face. 

Ren’s tone is pleading. “Please give it just a little bit, Toki. ...Maybe time away may help you change your mind.”

“It won’t.” Tokiya says grimly. “But you aren’t going to bring me back unless I try, are you?”

Their silence is answer enough. 

Tokiya wants to lay on the bed and face away from them- but he doesn’t. He knows that he won’t be changing his mind, but if this is the last bit of time that he’ll get to spend with them (assuming that they don’t force him to stay, anyways), he’d like to actually spend it with them, rather than to spend it acting like a pouting child.

The majority of their time is spent speaking, though Ranmaru and Ren talk the most. 

Ren had gotten a bigger flower shop, and he had gotten a house large enough to support more of it with his own flowers, branching out from only roses, though his roses were the most famous flowers in his store. 

Ranmaru had kept with the food industry, too, though he had gone from a chef at a fairly run of the mill cafe to a successful restaurant owner. His chain specialized in meats, unsurprisingly. 

They didn’t speak much of their married life, but Tokiya didn’t have much issues filling in the gaps. They kept the topic away from death and tried to stay light hearted, though there were a few mentions of the hospital. Ren had expressed that they hadn’t gone after the hospital for the money, but they had made it legal to force the hospital to change. Tokiya had told them that even if they had done it for the money and not the repentance, he wouldn’t have minded. 

During a short pause, the door forces itself open. Tokiya jumps, though Ren and Ranmaru don’t seem surprised- their expressions are actually very grim. When Tokiya looks at the door, he’s flooded with quite a few emotions, because it’s _his_ Ranmaru. When Tokiya stands, the Ren and Ranmaru in front of him don’t stop him, but they do turn. 

“Are you really going to go back, Toki?” Ren asks quietly. It’s easy to hear the upset in his voice, and it does send a pang through Tokiya’s chest. 

Tokiya’s Ranmaru has stopped by the door, though his gaze is on Tokiya. He’s wiped most of the blood off of his face, but he hadn’t gotten all of it. He doesn’t move closer, but it’s clear that he’s looking Tokiya over. Checking on him. It solidifies Tokiya’s answer. 

“I’m sorry, Ren, but I am.” Tokiya gives his full attention to the Ren and Ranmaru in front of him, and he gives a small smile. It’s hard to hold, but he manages it. “Goodbye. And thank you. I know that this entire situation has been difficult- for the entire times it’s happened. But thank you both for being my friends, and thank you trying as hard as you do still to keep me safe.” When Ren stands, clearly going for a hug, Tokiya hugs him. Ren squeezes him tightly. 

“Please stay safe, Toki.”

Ranmaru’s expression is still very grim when he stands behind Ren, and his grip in the hug is tighter than even Ren’s was. 

“Goodbye, Toki.” 

Ren and Ranmaru watch Tokiya as Tokiya goes to his Ranmaru. Ranmaru reaches out to Tokiya as soon as he’s near enough- though he’s watching Tokiya’s face closely. Tokiya thinks that Ranmaru’s expression looks sad, which almost confuses him, but he doesn’t ask. At least not now.

Tokiya only glances over his shoulder one more time before he leaves with his Ranmaru. Ranmaru’s expression hadn’t changed, but Ren is giving him a smile. It almost looks real- but the way that Ren’s wings are tucked in behind him tell Tokiya all that he needs to know about how Ren is really feeling.

Ranmaru waits until he and Tokiya are out of the room to speak, and his voice is quiet. “I’m gonna pick you up, Toki.”

“You’re hurt.” Tokiya’s voice is steadier than he had hoped it would be. “Can’t I walk?”

“‘S not safe. You really shouldn’t be touchin’ _anythin’_ in hell. Even the floor.”

Tokiya frowns, but he slowly nods. “Okay.”

Tokiya expects Ranmaru to throw him over his shoulder, but Ranmaru instead lifts him in a bridal style carry and Tokiya is reminded that he should have expected that. 

He is still concerned about Ranmaru, but that doesn’t stop Tokiya from leaning into Ranmaru, wrapping his arms around Ranmaru’s neck carefully, holding himself close. 

“Close your eyes.”

Tokiya does, but he feels his chest constrict. 

He was glad that he had gotten to say goodbye, but Tokiya wishes that they had just left him. This was the most upset Tokiya had felt in a very long time. 

Probably at least sixty or seventy years, at least. 

Ranmaru doesn’t tell him to open his eyes, so Tokiya doesn’t. He plans to open his eyes when Ranmaru sets him down- but that doesn’t end up being until he’s being laid in bed. Tokiya had almost fallen asleep, but he blinks himself awake when Ranmaru starts trying to pull the covers over him. 

“Wait, you’re hurt-”

“‘S not really much either of us can do about it. I’ll get some rest ‘n I’ll be fine, Toki.” Ranmaru sets his hand on Tokiya’s head, and Tokiya reluctantly lays back down. Ranmaru gets in next to him. 

“I don’t like how this turned out at all.” Tokiya admits. “And I don’t know that there was a way for it to go better, because I didn’t want either of you hurt, but I really don’t like that you were. ...But… if… if Ranmaru were able to hurt you-”

“He’s a real deal demon.” Ranmaru reaches out, and when he pulls Tokiya closer, Tokiya goes easily. “The people you get attacked by ‘r lessers. The ones that deserve to go into hell- and that’s not rewarded with _power_. I’m human, babe. More ‘r less. I’m not like Ren- _our_ Ren. I don’t have any real powers. ‘N deal demons don’t kill people themselves. Usually they just take souls ‘n then stick their people in these rooms ‘n let the other demons take care of ‘em. Normally I’m not gonna lose a fight because the only thing that _should_ come in here that I can’t beat is Ren. …’M still sorry, though. That I let you leave.”

“...I don’t know if I needed it, but it happened. And I’m here. ...It was closure. And they meant well. I know they did. But I’m happy. ...I’m as happy as I’m going to be able to be, I think. It wasn’t easy leaving them, but I wanted to be back here with you.” Tokiya’s voice drops. “They offered me a room in heaven. I told them no.” Tokiya swallows hard, clinging onto Ranmaru. “...Thank you for coming for me. No matter what your reasons were.”

“Don’t say it like that.” Ranmaru’s voice is almost stern. “I came for you because I want _you_. I wanna keep you safe, and _here_. With me. ...I’m gonna be honest, Toki.” Ranmaru’s head tilts down, his chin brushing the top of Tokiya’s head. “You looked sad when I went in there. From the moment I came in. ...If I would’a seen that you were happy… if you wouldn’t ‘a come over to me, I’d ‘ve let you stay with ‘em. Ren… _our_ Ren… he’s got no idea you even left. I never let ‘em know. I want you happy. I love you, you know. And I think you were believing it, ‘fore all this, ‘n I think that everythin’ is weird now because ‘a what happened. But I want you ‘t know that I mean it. I _can’t_ tell you how our Ren really feels about this. I don’t wanna turn you against ‘im- that’s not what I’m tryin’ to do, but I don’t think this means much to him. …’S not really the same for me. I’m here with you all day, Toki. We’re married. ‘N maybe that feels fake ‘t you, but it doesn’t to me. I loved you from the first day you woke up with me in this bed, ‘n it’s only stronger now.”

“It’s not.” Tokiya’s voice cracks. “Fake. Today was … weird. And a little hard- but this all feels real. I love you, too. And I mean that. ...You know- Ranmaru married Ren. And hearing that… it wasn’t _easy_ , but it didn’t crush me in the way that it would have such a long time ago. I was worried about _you_. ...I know you and Ranmaru are… one side of the same coin- but that’s not how it feels. In my mind, you’re separate. ...You’re why I’m happy here.” Tokiya admits. “I think I would hate it, if I were alone. Doing any of this. Even if our Ren still visited… it wouldn’t be the same. ...I need you.” Tokiya presses his forehead against Ranmaru’s chest, hard. “I don’t think I would have left, if Ranmaru had just asked me to. It was nice to see Ren and Ranmaru. But now I know that they’re happy. And it’s going to take me some time to get over today. ...I want to be here. I don’t feel happy right now- but I know I will. Because I was. And honestly… I got lucky, with how this all worked out. And I think I’d prefer being here over a room in actual heaven, anyways.”

_\-----------------------------------------------_

Ranmaru doesn’t take very long to heal, which Tokiya _is_ grateful for. Ranmaru wouldn’t tell him just how badly he was hurt- but Tokiya had seen flickers of pain flash across his face for two days after his injury and Tokiya imagined that it wasn’t just a busted nose. After all, the day of, Ranmaru had been unsteady on his feet, which was worrying in itself, but true to Ranmaru’s word, he _had_ healed. He also wouldn’t entertain Tokiya worrying over him. The furthest Tokiya had gotten was Ranmaru letting him make lunch the next day for them. (And breakfast, though that included Tokiya sneaking out of bed early before Ranmaru could stop him. Ranmaru had woken up only a few minutes after Tokiya had gotten up, and while he had rolled his eyes at Tokiya, he had contented himself with merely helping Tokiya make breakfast.)

They had gotten into a normal pattern fairly shortly afterwards. It had taken Tokiya some time, however, to begin to comfortably fall back into it, and not from lack of trying. 

If Ren ever found out that Tokiya had left, he never said anything. He still came by just as often as he used to, and he never acted any differently. 

Ranmaru didn’t _quite_ act differently, but he was careful. He paid very close attention to Tokiya, though Tokiya was obvious, when he wasn’t feeling right. 

Tokiya’s days of staying in bed had actually lessened, before the real Ranmaru had tried to ‘save’ him. On days where Tokiya was bored, his day in bed usually only lasted a day. 

It had gone back into days. Sometimes Tokiya would go up to two or three days without leaving his bed. If Tokiya went a full day without eating, Ranmaru would force him to eat _something_ , and Ranmaru wouldn’t let him not drink water, but Ranmaru never did actually force him out of bed. 

Ranmaru typically laid in bed with Tokiya. Usually, it was silent. Ranmaru would just hold Tokiya, only speaking if Tokiya spoke to him. 

Today was the fourth day of Tokiya being in bed. Ranmaru had already forced Tokiya to sit up in bed long enough to eat the food Ranmaru had brought to him, but they were laying down again. 

“I should take a shower.” Despite Ranmaru insisting that Tokiya try to drink at least a bit of water every few hours, Tokiya’s voice is still hoarse from lack of use. Tokiya’s eyes close before he continues. “Will you take it with me?”

“‘Course I will.” Ranmaru’s thumb runs over Tokiya’s side. His hand is currently on Tokiya’s hip, underneath Tokiya’s shirt- which is technically Ranmaru’s. Ranmaru’s clothes were big enough on Tokiya that he rarely wore pants to bed, though it was pushed up now. 

“I don’t really want to get up.” Tokiya sighs. “But I’m sore.”

“Then ‘s probably a good thing you’re tryin’. If you’re still not feelin’ up ‘t anythin after our shower, why don’t we go sit in the theatre at least? Get you outta bed. I think it’ll help.”

“I don’t know if it will, but I’ll try.” Tokiya braces himself for a long second and then he forces himself to sit. Ranmaru goes with him. 

Tokiya more or less waddles his way to the bathroom, his legs stiff and unresponsive from not being used for some time. His only real trips out of bed were to the bathroom, but he was fairly dehydrated so he wasn’t getting up often. Ranmaru follows him closely. 

Tokiya turns the shower handle up fairly high- it was almost as hot as it could go. Ranmaru is subtle when he turns it to a more reasonable temperature, waiting until Tokiya’s back is turned as he takes off his shirt, though Tokiya knows that Ranmaru lowered it. It was something that wasn’t uncommon between them. 

It wasn’t that Ranmaru couldn’t handle the high heat- it was that Tokiya’s skin turned very pink and Ranmaru felt that meant that the water was too hot. By the time they’re both undressed the water has reached a high enough temperature to get in. This is far from their first shower together and they fall into their places naturally- Tokiya closest to the stream and Ranmaru right behind him. The shower was a standing only shower, but it was large and fit them both fine, even leaving a decent amount of space, too. 

When Ranmaru’s arms wrap around Tokiya’s waist, Tokiya leans back into Ranmaru’s chest. They’d need to actually wash up, but Tokiya had learned some time ago that the water never got cold. There was no rush. 

Ranmaru reaches out, grabbing a cloth and the liquid soap. When Ranmaru starts helping Tokiya clean, he starts by centralizing in one area- Tokiya’s chest. Ranmaru’s chin lands on Tokiya’s shoulder as he curls over Tokiya, the cloth moving in a soothing circle and even before Ranmaru starts speaking Tokiya realizes that it’s a comforting action more than a cleaning one. 

“I love you.” Ranmaru’s voice is soft. Gentle. Even with as sweet as Ranmaru always seemed to be with Tokiya, his voice still had a harsh edge to it, usually. It was almost gone now. This was one of Ranmaru’s rarest tones. Tokiya closes his eyes as he listens to Ranmaru speaking. “More ‘n anythin’. I’m so glad that you came back to me, Toki. ‘N I’m always gonna be ‘ere for you. Through anythin’.” Ranmaru’s nose presses just below the edge of Tokiya’s jaw, and he presses a dry kiss to the side of Tokiya’s neck. His voice turns teasing, though the tone is a bit weak, weighed down by the seriousness of his sentiment. “You’re never gettin’ me off ‘a yer back. I promise.”


End file.
